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Jamie
Oliver Twist
by Chas ‘n Dave Dickens
Oi! Mr Bumble! I want more!
I’m gagging for it, know what I mean?
Retro grub yeah? Nice one guv!
No posh nosh tosh cuisine!
So bish bosh bash let’s ‘av some truffle mash
Wiv the old hot sausage ‘n mustard
An ow’s abaht a mascarpone tart?
Whack it in like wiv the old custard
Well oom-pah-pah I’m the nuddy chef
I’m choppin’ up me chillies on the telly
Love it. Wicked. Superb and all that.
Pan-fried eels in jelly!
‘Oo will buy my jack-the-lad cookbooks?
You little tiger. Happy days!
Dahn The Isle of Thanet wiv a pomegranate
Cheeky chappy chops lyonnaise
Oozy wet polenta up the Jobcentre
Shout goin’ out for charidee
Fifteen sprogs in a kitchen. Sweet.
Bloomin’ gorgeous. MBE!
Luvverly jubberly bubbly beans
Best baked bean bruschetta
Seven quid for beans on toast
Beanz meanz a new Lambretta!
Oi Mr Sainsbury! I want more ads!
I’ll do anyfing for you me old mucker
We gotta pick a pocket or two my son
Is that annuver cheque? Well pukka!
©
Elvis McGonagall
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