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Harry
Potter & The Kitchen of Nightmares
by Gordon 'McGonagall' Ramsay
“You fucking fuck you’ve
fucked it
You fucking speccy twat!”
Said the machoman Michelin superstar chef
To the boy in the daft pointy hat
“Call yourself a fucking wizard?”
You can’t even conjure up toast!
You can shove your fucking broomstick right up your arse
You’ve just fucked my veal sweetbread pot roast!”
“Jesus H Christ in a sesame bun
Make me something that won’t make me sick
If you fuck with my seared fucking woodcock
I’ll sautee your bollocks you dick”
Young Potter bent over his cauldron
Stirring a stoat stroganoff
Et voila - his piece de resistance!
But Gordon looks fucking fucked off
“Fuck me Delia - what’s this? Goblin goulash?
Who the fuck ordered that? Scooby Doo?
This is Claridges you fuck - not the Merlin Motel
We don’t serve fucking Halloween stew!”
So wee Harry he lay down his ladle
He twizzled his wand and he sang -
“Abrafuckingcadabra you fuckface!”
And Gordon Ramsay exploded! Fuck bang!
©
Elvis McGonagall
Click
here to visit the Elvis McGonagall world of web.
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